Czech Professionals and The Mentorless Generation 2-3

In a continuation of our look at the creation of a culturally relevant Czech version of mentoring, the first question is, “How do you begin the process of finding a mentor?”

“It all starts with two questions,” according to Troy Neilsen, Associate Professor of Management at Utah Valley State College, “What skills am I lacking in order to succeed in my current position? And, where do I want to go in my career?” Once you lock down the answers to these two questions then the process of identifying a mentor begins. Look around you. Who in your organization has the skills that you need to develop?

Neilsen cautions, though, that time should be taken here to fully consider not only the relevant expertise of the potential mentor but how they are regarded within the organization (What are their career prospects? Are they respected, etc.?) and, how are they regarded within your industry? Once you establish a relationship with a mentor you begin to take on some of their reputation in the eyes of others. This can be a two-edged sword, so take your time, be observant and choose wisely. Mistakes in selection can have a lasting and sometimes chilling effect.

A mentoring relationship is a very personal relationship and it should be approached much the same as forming a friendship. What are this person’s values? How do they think? How did they get to where they are? Do you admire them? How do they treat people? How do the answers to these questions match up to your values and who you aspire to be?

The best way to get the answers to these questions is through exposure. Working on a project team under this person, going on sales calls together, going on an out-of –town business trip where there is time for casual conversation, reading something the person has written, attending a presentation they give, asking questions regarding how they would approach something—these are just some of the ways in which you can begin to gather data and get a feel for who the person really is. As Professor Neisen points out, this slow and gradual process is much more effective than just walking up to someone and asking them if they’ll be your mentor. “People are busy today and they are wary of the time commitment mentoring can involve. However, if you gradually expose your intellectual curiosity, desire, talent, values and commitment to grow, there is likelihood that a quality mentor will be attracted to you because they will see the potential in you.” Then, as in building a friendship, the interaction may become more frequent, easier and open—they begin to learn more about you and then chemistry builds or it doesn’t.

Professor Stanley Nollen, McDonough School of Business at Georgetown University: “Good chemistry is vital in a mentoring relationship because you must both be comfortable, open and trusting with each other. Chemistry is the kind of thing that can’t be ‘assigned’; it must develop naturally. Undoubtedly the mentor will have valuable information regarding the informal organization and how to ‘read the tea leaves’, such as, ’That’s a great idea, but if you approach it that way you’ll never get it off the ground in this organization.’ However, there must be trust and chemistry before information like this can be shared openly and honestly.” So, the take-away message here is that it takes time to develop a common language in order to communicate effectively and to understand each other’s values and context—go slowly.

What are some realistic expectations from a mentoring relationship?

Because of the informal and situational nature of the relationship between the mentor and mentee, there is not a rigid set of expectations, per se. There is consensus on a few things, though, and perhaps the most important are tough, honest feedback. Mentoring is not meant to be mutual admiration society. It is meant to prepare, educate and equip people for what lies ahead. Just as a military leader would not want to send troops into battle who are unprepared, a mentor doesn’t want his or her mentee to address important challenges or relationships without an understanding of how best to navigate them and sometimes that requires some very direct feedback on thoughts, actions and opinions that need to change in order to achieve the desired outcome. Or, in the words of Jan Bubenik, Managing Partner of Bubenik Partners, “A good mentor helps you discover and understand the correlation between your actions and outcomes.”

What are the potential dangers and abuses in a mentoring relationship? What does a mentoring relationship look like in its highest and best form? Those questions will be answered in the next and final installment of this series.