I Learned the Most from Leaders Who Expected the Most

In a recent conversation with a mentor, we discussed some of the key abilities that a good leader should possess. One ability that stuck in my mind—an ability I hadn't given any special attention to before—is the ability of a leader to also be a good follower.

In order to achieve this we need a student who is willing to listen and to have the desire to learn—basically, a sense of humility in their approach to people and things. Secondly, a willing teacher is very important—someone who has something worth learning and is willing to impart that knowledge to the student, or follower. This person should not only be worthy to follow, full of optimism and patience, but should also have expectations of the student. To me, this aspect of expectations, is something of great importance and is underestimated by many.

As a young person in my early twenties, writing about leadership is quite difficult, not only because what I write in this newsletter will be read by far more experienced people than I, but because in their company one feels respect and a deep sense of humility. However, I have been asked, as a young person who aspires to leadership roles, to express some personal thoughts on leadership, and so I have chosen to share with you an early lesson: I have learned the most from people who have expected the most from me. These people have helped me create my own individual path to leadership. I would like to walk you through some of my more memorable experiences, not only as an illustration of my journey, but in the hope that it triggers some memories of your own life teachers and past experiences.

A good place to start is childhood. Who had the greatest expectations from you when you were little? In all likelihood it was your parents. They expected you to learn how to walk and talk, to wash your hands, to make your bed, to greet people and say thank you. To an adult it might seem like quite a simple thing to do, but where did it all start? Someone had to teach us. And let's face it; we were not always good students. In my early life, the teachers with the highest expectations of me were my grandmother and my mother. At the time it seemed that they expected incredible performance from me—being able to bake a cake all by myself, to cook a dinner on my own, and to take care of my little sister at times.

Then, there is the elementary school experience. Which teachers do you remember the most? I remember those who gave me the most. In elementary school, it was my history and Slovak language teacher, who, again, had what seemed like very high expectations—assignments must be handed in on time, at least half the class would have to write the poems and the other half would have to recite them in competitions. Also, the entire class would have to read all the required readings and, if that wasn’t enough, we all, when taking the admission tests in high school, would have to end up in the top 20%. Great KPIs, aren't they? Most of them were fulfilled - thanks to high expectations. The outcome? Well, all of us passed our tests successfully, we got prizes for the competitions and I'm still writing poetry to this day.

Moving on, don’t you think that we expect too little from today's teenagers? I have the impression that many parents, society even, just want them to attend school, not to drink and not to take drugs—nothing else. But, when they cross the age of 20, there is a sudden and dramatic increase of expectations. Is that right? Aren't "teenage years" and the diminished expectations that accompany them a fabrication of modern society? The word teenager started being used in official legal terms only in 1900 when laws were being drafted regarding child labor. Unfortunately, however, these laws have brought unintended and far-reaching consequences, as noted by Alex and Brett Harris in their book, Doing Hard Things. They go on to note the fact that children are totally excluded from the workplace, and ordered into compulsory education up to high school. The teenagers' role as being key producers and contributors to families and to society is over. Suddenly, their role came to be almost exclusively that of consumers. Young people are suddenly stuck in the poorly defined category of being between childhood and adulthood. In my opinion, the cause of this diminished performance is nothing more than diminished expectations and responsibilities.

Who ruled your leadership world during high school? For me, aside from my parents, it was a teacher of English and economics, who, in addition to all the mandatory school work, required even more: a proactive approach to our community, such as things like project work on initiatives, leading our own student company, organizing the students’ ball event and so on. For many of us it was the first step out of the "shadow". We were introduced to reality, we began to think more critically, and began to identify our strengths and areas that needed to be worked on. In other words, we started becoming leaders.

Even in university you will find people whose expectations will help you, especially if their expectations are wise and well adjusted. There is a fine line between ambitious and well-founded expectations and ones that are simply too much, and this is something of which teachers, leaders, students and followers should maintain awareness.

My own personal work experience to date has come through my connection with AIESEC and Manageria and the people there. These organizations have taught me many things, but of most importance to me has been that they were not satisfied with average, because they saw the potential in people and didn’t want to waste it. It was not always easy to hear a critique and to hear that something could be done better. High expectations and criticism can be hard for us to accept until we realize that, properly created and properly executed, they are a gift—a gift that can bring out the best in us and isn’t that what good leaders do?

One note to conclude: My hope is that we all realize that our role is to be a lifelong teacher to others and that our approach, expectations and acts have a great impact on others.