If there is one thing I have learned in my career and in coaching executives it’s how extremely important relationships are. What follows is a narrative of how important they have been to me personally in the very recent past and I’ll tie it together as it relates to your career later in the story.
Throughout history talented and effective leaders have known that taking responsibility for their actions, especially ones that have less than desirable outcomes, sends a powerful message of character and maturity to those who follow them. Conversely, in the eyes of leaders, the same holds true for their subordinates. This is how decisions are made regarding the assignment of key projects, promotions and whether someone can be trusted or not. Without doubt, one of the most powerful messages anyone can send about their character is whether or not they take responsibility for their actions.
“Creating” perfection in another person has been a recurring theme in literature. In Ovid’s classic, The Metamorphoses, written in Rome in the 1st century, a lonely sculptor by the name of Pygmalion sculpts a marble statue of a woman so beautiful that he falls in love with it. Then, the statue miraculously comes to life—perfect in every detail—and they live happily ever after.
In working with people as a coach for more than thirty years and in being a student of human nature for more than fifty years, I have been very fortunate and at times perplexed. Fortunate, in that I have been exposed to a number of situations, perspectives, personalities, problems, issues and thoughts from a wide range of people, but perplexed in the sense that I have found that absolutes—things that are always true—as they relate to life and to human nature are extremely hard to find.
For many years I have been interested in, and fascinated by, the subtle, almost unconscious, effect a leader can have on an entire organization. The impact of a leader’s style seeps deeply into an enterprise affecting people and decisions the leader will never know about, at least not individually, but collectively it is a far different and powerful story—one that is played out daily all over the world in businesses and governments. Two examples of this that come quickly to mind come from the United States and from the Czech Republic by way of India.
The term alpha, as used in describing personality traits, came from animal behaviorists who, when studying the activities of animals interacting with each other, discovered that groups of animals being showed deference to one specific member of the community by ritualized gestures such as bowing, allowing them to walk first in a procession, or being submissive when this one animal challenged them. To describe this particular dominant animal the name alpha was employed, as in alpha-male.
It’s no secret to my friends that I get many of my column ideas from my wife, Priscilla. She is a voting member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and former executive in the movie industry in Hollywood. Her past exposure to one of the most complicated business models known to man, as well as to the complex egos, personalities and lifestyles of the people who lead, and who are led, in a very Machiavellian world, give her some very cogent insights into a wide range of human behavior.
The central character in Homer’s Illiad, Achilles, was the greatest hero of the Trojan War. He was a fearsome warrior and leader on the battlefield just like many of our leaders today on the “battlefield” of business, but he was a terrible career coach. The goal of a career coach is to help others grow—I think we can all agree on that. Achilles was so hungry for his own success and to prove himself on the battlefield that he couldn’t see beyond the battle he was in at the time, and he didn’t care about the career growth of those in his army, a group known as the Myrmidons.
Not long ago I was reading through a collection of quotes that I have put together over the years, which I often turn to for inspiration, insights, and a fresh perspective. My collection spans quotes from classical philosophers to modern-day professional athletes, business people, entertainers, and political leaders. This particular time, though. I came across a quote from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe that reminded me of my youth, and I wanted to share it with you in the hope that there might be someone out there who, like me in my youth, needs a little discipline and direction in life.
The term prima donna was originally used in opera companies to designate the lead female singer in an opera. Over time, though, the term became a pejorative used to describe someone of either sex who was regarded as egotistical, unreasonable, irritable, and with a rather high opinion of themselves that was not shared by others. Further, the term often is used to signify someone who, though temperamental, is essential and non-expendable.
